THE CHALLENGE: My boyfriend has primary placement of his daughter, age 17. She’s been living with us since age 13. Since being in court back in 2015 her Bio Mom hasn’t contributed one dime. At the time, my boyfriend didn’t care about child support as he just wanted his ex out of his life as he can afford his daughter all on his own. Fast forward to now, his daughter needs oral surgery. He’s asked the dentist over and over “how much?” and he can’t get a real answer. He was given estimates pre insurance and told that it will be covered. He’s yet to call the insurance company to see what percent will be covered as it’s $4,400. He’s thought about reaching out to his ex to see if she can contribute anything but is reluctant as she’s a narcissistic bitch. He doesn’t know what to do. Wait to hear from the insurance company on coverage or actually talk to her Bio Mom who he hasn’t talked to in 4 years. His daughter sees her Bio Mom, but the visits don’t last long…maybe 2 days a month as his daughter and her Bio Mom are like oil and water.
THE FEEDBACK: Why hasn’t he called the Insurance company yet? Why getting all stressed about the what if’s? You can’t control any of the outcomes. The cost is the cost and worrying about it doesn’t do any good. It doesn’t appear that anyone wants anything to do with the ex and begging for money. So that option should be taken off the table. So why even bother discussing it. and from a guy perspective I wouldn’t go back to my ex if she was the only one in the world with money. You originally stated that your SO can afford his daughter on his own…so why the drama about the oral surgery? If he doesn’t have the money, he will certainly find a way to get it. Don’t dentists have payment plan’s etc. What about if the daughter asks the BIO mom for help? Oil and water…has nothing to do with it. This is her daughter and she needs to be the one that says no to her daughter. Need to discover more ways to be resourceful. Hope this helps.
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Warriors Of Life Institute
Transformational Parent Coach, RelationSHIFTER, Teen Mentor, Part-Time Comedian & Author