Dear Coach Richie: How do you handle a teenager who refuses to talk to you at times? Sometimes she will chat for 15 minutes if I catch her at the right moment, that’s a good day. One time after school, she sat at the table with me for an hour and a half! That never happens. Just the one time. Today she came home from school (after I know she was stressed about something because of text I received) and may need someone to ask advice or talk but she’ll run upstairs and lock her door. I will then knock with no response. Does anyone here get so frustrated from reaching out and trying their best to help but getting no respect or appreciation? I’m her best ally but she doesn’t act like it. If I decided to back off and not talk to her at all, I wonder if she would finally come to me to discuss things. I definitely know to give her space. She’s generally a good kid aside from that. Never gets in trouble. Just doesn’t communicate much. Any advice?
Coach Richie: She is trying to find herself. When my kids were her age I gave them space to do so. I had to be ok with them doing what they needed to do. If they didn’t want to talk. That is cool. Sometimes as parents we let our egos get in the way of our relationship with our children. What do you think she needs? Have you asked her in one is those quiet moments. As parents we are always on a mission to offer advice, our wisdom and try and fix them. When sometimes all they want is someone to see them, hear them and just listen. As a friend and not as a parent. Maybe they don’t need help. Maybe they just need more love. When they don’t say anything it is an opportunity to say I love you and give them a big hug. Is that what you want, respect and appreciation? Do you respect her and appreciate her? Are you offering the same to her? Understand her world. What she is going through. What was your world like at her age? Listen, hear and see that beautiful child you have and love her for who she is and who she will become. That is the best thing we can do for our kids. You can love them or control them. But you can’t do both. 🤘you got this
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