Dear Coach RICHIE: ,I’m sorry. I consider myself a “lapsed Christian” if that makes any sense, and I just truthfully need to vent. My kid doesn’t deserve to go without because I’m a failure at parenting. My child deserves to go to bed with a full belly and wake up in a warm house. My electric is in danger of being shut off. Food bank isn’t open until Tuesday, and I don’t get my renewal of food stamps until the 11th. I can’t even afford to get my child winter clothes, much less pay off a past due electric bill. I wish I had chosen a better father for my child, because then maybe I would get some type of child support but you can’t get child support from someone who’s in jail for sexually assaulting a minor. I wish people understood how hard it is to be a single mother sometimes. I’ve been let go from jobs because I didn’t have reliable child care, I’ve been told “You’re not a good fit” because I’m a young single mom with only a high school diploma. I’ve been turned away from a church because I wasn’t a member of the congregation. Sometimes I wish I could just go to sleep and not wake up the next morning because days like today are so bleak. I want our suffering to end. I haven’t been to a church in years but I still pray every night for something better to come along for us. I don’t know if this will accomplish anything but thanks for reading and listening to me.
COACH RICHIE: It sounds like you are in a difficult situation and have a lot of challenges going on in your life. You can’t go back in time and chose a better father for your child and living with that thought is only going to make you feel worse. You appear to be emotionally stacking problems which is putting you in the place you are. Sad, hopeless and depressed. Your child is not an item that can be returned. People will always be judging us. That is just a fact of society. Are you suffering with a ton of limiting beliefs. Single mom with only a high school diploma. Do you think you are the only mom on this planet that is single and only has a high school diploma? Why are your days so bleak? When we think like this we are either suffering in the past or fearful of the future? Which one is it for you? Sounds like maybe a little bit of both. First you said that you wish you could go to sleep and not wake up. Then you say you want your suffering to end. Do you think you were blessed with a child so you could both die? Some people can’t have children. Is your child really suffering or is it you that is suffering from the thoughts in your mind and the what if scenarios that you are running 24×7 of what is wrong with your life. What is going right? Do you have air in your lungs? Is your child safe? Could you start your morning with something to be grateful for? Something you can appreciate? Having a roof over your head, air in your lungs, 2 legs, 2 hands, eyes, ears a heart? As human beings we sometimes only see what we don’t have and fail to see what we do have. There are plenty of people on this planet that wake up with no eyes, no ears, no legs, no hands and some don’t wake up at all. You have mentioned a couple of times that you are a christian. It sounds like you have lost faith and without no faith there is no hope. What can you do today to start changing your circumstances. Can you not complain one day about what is wrong with your life and use that energy and put it into something that can make a difference and give you hope? The stories we tell ourselves is how we live our lives. Do you think it’s time for you to create a new story. Change the narrative of this one so you can find more hope, love and happiness in this world. Not only for you but for your precious child that didn’t ask for any of this negativity and self loathing. What can you do to find faith today? What about if you decided to go to church and see what could happen. You need to start doing some different things to make things happen for the better. Sitting at home and complaining about life will never get you to that step #1. So what is that step #1 that you need to take today to create some magic in your life. I hope this helps. You are a strong person and a mom who gave birth to a child. You have the power to do anything you want to in life. Don’t let your mind and thoughts keep you from finding your potential. BE RESOURCEFUL. All my love and support on your journey. Coach Richie
Parenting Challenges and nowhere to turn! Send me your challenge and let’s see what we can do to empower you, reduce some of your stress and help you build a stronger foundation with your children. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org . Always anonymous.