Dear Coach Richie: I recently took away Xbox privileges and also phone (just for a few days). I after about 3 days I had an intuition to look through my 15 yo sons phone. Instant regret! Parents of boys, how do you broach the topic of “sexting”? I don’t want him to know I’ve invaded his privacy but I do want him to know..well, I’m not even totally sure what I want him to know. HELP!
Coach Richie: We worry about our children because of our life experiences and don’t want them to make the Same mistakes we made. However, punishment usually never works. Makes the child. Angry, frustrated and controlled. Then that conjures revenge fantasies. Which makes things worse. Remember being a teenager. Now see his world from that garage point. As a teen he already has enough of that going on in his life and when the people that love him do it to him it makes them really angry. Avoid the punishment by getting the the root cause of the problem. They are all just problems that need a solution and when we work with our children on finding a solution…everyone wind because they feel empowered and don’t feel controlled. Maybe an option for next time instead of the dreaded punishment. Ok. The phone stuff. I know we can’t help ourselves but we can’t go there. What are you really afraid of? Think about that? That is what they do these days. Would you rather him be having real sex? Even more challenges. If he finds out you snooped you are done. He will
Hate you and set a course for outofcontrolville. He will do everything in his powers to make your life a living hell. He will disconnect from you and connect with his peers who understand parents that betray their trust. Once he connects with them. It is a new game with an entirely new set of rules. I know it is hard but just let him be. If you have trust in him he will trust you. That is what you need to have. So when his life gets really challenging he will come to you for guidance and not that idiot tribe that all think alike. Be confident in your parenting skills and allow him the freedom to make his own decisions and make some mistakes. He will grow. How do you think the sexting conversation will go? What is your outcome? Before you speak think of the outcome and the possible consequences of it. Teens these days know
More about sex than we could know in a millions years. You are a great mom who wants the best for your son and sometimes they is giving them some space. You can love them or control them but you can’t do both. You got this .🤘
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