DEAR COACH RICHIE: Today is the day that we tell our now 18-year-old daughter that she has two weeks to get her crap together or she hands back the house keys and she’s on her own to try to find somewhere else that will slow her to live for free. Tried everything I can, after dealing with this for over 18 months and only having her up watching TV all night and sleeping all day, I’ve taken as much as I can. This is going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done but hopefully the best thing that can happen to her to teach her what life is all about. What are your thoughts?
COACH RICHIE: Yes..Been there done that. However, I would do it a little different this time around. They are quite stubborn and will do anything to irritate you even more. I have spoken to parents that now drive by the coffee shop that they go to and see their 17 year old daughter loitering outside. She is homeless and lives in a shelter.
If you give her the ultimatum are you prepared for the consequences of losing her to the street. I get the frustration part. It is hard as parents to see what we believe is our kids pissing their lives away. But from their perspective everyone is ordering them around and they feel like they have no control (parents, teachers, etc). So what option do they have…DO NOTHING because at least they can control that in their life. Some questions to ask yourself.
When you go the hard love route are you prepared for the worse if she becomes homeless. (I see this a lot). Drugs to escape the depression. Then stealing to get money for the habit or even worse…selling their bodies. Possibly prison time for stealing, etc. Then they get that bad batch of drugs, overdose and possibly die. Those are the consequences of throwing them out. If you are ok with scenarios and you think she will learn a lesson. Go for it. But what lesson do you think she is going to learn. When they are stubborn they will sleep on the streets eat out of trash bins and do whatever they can not to bend to their parents rule.
So if she leaves don’t ever expect her to call you again and ask to come home. From their perspective the streets are more loving.So what are you other options? What about some choices? Take her to a homeless shelter and park outside and ask her maybe what she thinks of it? Have you actually spoken to her and listened to what she has to say. As parents we are always trying to fix and advise instead of listening.
Maybe she is very depressed. Sort of sounds like it to me. In the end the lesson you may be teaching her that if she is depressed, sad and hates her life the people that love you (your parents) disregard you and throw you out into the world. Lead with your heart and you will always’s make the right decision. 🤘 you got this.
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