Dear Coach Richie: I have a 16 year old who desperately needs some help but is refusing to talk to a therapist unless we give in to some demands. My wife and I have decided we will not be giving in to them.
But how do we force him to attend therapy at this point? We’ve tried limiting electronics which is the only thing he cares about. Even that hasn’t worked.
When he was younger it was easier to make him attend but now it seems almost impossible. Please help!!
COACH RICHIE: Problem #1 the language you are using. You can’t force anyone to do anything in life. Especially a 16 year old. Then you want him to see therapist that you selected. They just see them as a rat that will tell you everything he says. When parents ask me about getting their kid into therapy to fix their child. I tell them it starts with the parents. However as parents we rush to judgement thinking that our child is broken. Most of the time it is a result of lack of attention, love, challenging environment or a peer connection that leaves them getting advice from friends that don’t know anything. Why because they have lost their connection to the parents. So i would be asking myself.
What is going on in his world? Could we be contributing to the challenges he is facing? What can we do to build a better connection to him? What does he really need right now? You really need to be honest with yourselves because in the end they have all the leverage. And using force to get any results will never work. If you need to chat. Would be happy to have a conversation with you to. Because it is very helpful to speak to someone that can see what we don’t and hear what we can’t. You can love them or control them. It you can’t do both. All my love and support on your parenting journey. 🤘you got this.
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