DEAR COACH RICHIE: I am feeling really depressed my child is failing school he has until Nov 22 to get his act together. I have been trying to help him but its exhausting. he was failing everything but now its only half his courses. hes doing online school and he just doesn’t put the effort in. he keeps saying I can catch up in a couple of days. I need him to be passing all classes by this weekend or he’s not going anywhere.
COACH RICHIE: Yes it is frustrating when you children don’t want to put any effort into school. As a parent is must be so hard so see that your child is failing school. A couple of questions to ask yourself. Do you know what you most afraid of? What does going anywhere mean? Where do you think he needs to go? What if he failed his classes? Would their be consequences that he would have to face? Could this be an opportunity that allow him to learn a lesson about life instead of you rescuing him? There are things out of our control and if we believe we can control them.
That will drive us out of our mind. Why don’t you trust him when he says he is going to catch up? Did you do the same things he is doing and what was that like for you at his age? Kids aren’t on our time schedule. They are on kid time. Which means there is no rush. As parents we get so wrapped in pushing them into our schedule we end up losing the most beautiful gift of all. Having a loving relationship with them because they resent us.
They resent us because any time we talk to them we need them to do something, be somebody else or accomplish something that we couldn’t. I would put myself in his shoes and think what does he need from me right this minute? A mom on my case or a mom that trusts me, supports me and mentors me when I need it. Last question to ask yourself. Why do you need him to pass all classes? Are you afraid that if he fails he will live with you forever, become homeless, start doing drugs, go to prison or even worse? Would’ve could’ve should’ve.
What if you took a step back, allowed him to exhale and let him see if he can do it on his own. He may surprise the hell out of you. That would be the biggest gift you could ever give him. An opportunity to grow or an opportunity to fail. Either way he will grow because our failures in life give us the gift of wisdom. That is what he will be robbed of if he is not given a chance to handle things himself. He said he could do it so what if you let him.? You can love them or control them but you can’t do both. 🤘 you got this all day long💕
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