I did a bad thing. I read my 13 year old daughters diary, i didnt go looking and found it whilst changing her bedding. I am shocked and feel sick at what i have read. Self harm, suicidal thoughts (graphic letters), and sexual activity. I feel like such a failure of a mother. I have 2 other younger daughters (7 years and a 20 month old). I work ft and so does my husband (he works evenings and weekends so i feel on my own most of the time). We have no family in the and i feel so alone with all this and don’t know where to go or what to do. My teenager suicidal thoughts scares me the most.
Take a breath and exhale. You are not a bad mother. You are doing the best you can. Aren’t you? It is so difficult to raise children when both parents work. They sort of feel abandoned. But that is where we are in today’s world. What are you worried the most about and focus on just one thing? Teenager Suicidal thoughts? The sex and anything else is a normal teenager. Although they do start so early these days.
As parents one of our jobs is to make sure our kids feel safe. So what can you do to help her? One thing I wouldn’t do is change how you act around her and never let on that you ready her diary. You will break her trust and you will lose a daughter. That is a guarantee.So you want to find out how she is feeling. Start with some sharing of your own with her. Maybe take her out by herself for lunch or something or get her while driving her somewhere in the car and try this. Tell her how you are feeling about life in general. You maybe be stressed about work and that both you and your husband feel bad because you can’t spend a lot of time with the kids. You are sad because you feel like you are. It there for her.
I wouldn’t ask her any questions. I would just talk. Open up. Because as a 13 year old she probably feels alone and that nobody understands her. If she hears that you sometimes have issues than she may start feeling better about herself. If she does speak. Acknowledge her feelings. If she says she doesn’t feel like you lover her or anything like that. PleAse don’t tell her that is not true.
That is how she feels and needs someone to hear it.When she has some apace to speak. When she is done ash her this power question. If I could do one thing to help you not feel this way and be a better parent to you what would that be? Hope this helps. You can love them or control them but you can’t do both. You got this all day mom. Hang in there and be there to love, guide, support and mentor her and things will work out.🤘❤️
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