DEAR COACH RICHIE: What is a good consequence for a 17 yr old Teenager that lies. She is constantly lying about where she is going ? She never tells me anything and I have no idea what she is doing and can imagine that she is up to no good.
COACH RICHIE: Love her more. When teenager lies get out of control we need to really look within us and question why we think they may be lying. What do you think the reason is for her lying? Do you ever lie to her? Children lie because they fear the consequences and as you can see they never know what the consequences are. Could she be running around with her teen tribe and has become disconnected from you? When teenagers have challenges with their parents that is when disconnection happens. They stop listening to what they say and don’t believe they are entitled to the truth? They are unable to hear someone that they have no connection with. This is what the root of most teenager lying.
Most parents aren’t hearing or seeing their kids either. At some level the child is holding some resentment towards their parents. Which in their minds they believe that we don’t deserve the truth. If I was trying to break though this mask of lies I would start thinking out of the box. Do the unexpected. She expects to be punished. So why not ask her what you are doing wrong as a parent? Or possibly tell her the truth about something you have been possibly keeping from her. Children know a lot more than we give them credit for.
They know we are lying before we even lie. We think we are so smart but they see through all of our masks. We sometimes lie thinking we are protecting them but in reality we are pushing them further away. Ask her some questions then give her some space to answer and not judge, deny or advise. First step in opening the lines of communication is attempt to discover the root cause of the lying. We can love them or control them but we can’t do both. 🤘 you got this .
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