Where would we be without you moms? We know every day should be Mothers day.
You moms are the glue that holds the family together, the duct tape of life that keep the family machine churning at all costs. The sacrifices you make are ones of true saints and superheroes. It is a very thankless job that never gets the appreciation and gratitude that you are entitled to. Oh yes, and the pay really sucks…Right!
Day in and day out you fight the fight, struggling with all the challenges of parenting while at the same time juggling a career, household duties, a social life and possibly a relationship your partner. How does all this running around make you feel? Exhausted, overwhelmed, tired, sad, stressed? Sometimes do you feel like you are constantly giving, and everybody is taking? We get so used to your superhuman actions that we began to take you for granted. Why do we take you mom’s for granted, children and partners to be specific? Because we think you love being a parent, our servant, our cook, our maid, our uber driver, our teacher, our romantic partner and so much more. You are always willing to sacrifice everything for seeing your family happiness through to the end; including chasing your own dreams, passions and purpose in life. That is the unconditional love that you moms provide to your children and families. We are truly sorry for not hearing you and we know every day should be mothers day.
Do we ever ask you how you feel? How you are doing? Do you need anything? Are we loving you enough? What are your dreams? What do you want from life? Most likely nobody is asking you these questions. Has anyone asked you if you feel worn out, feel neglected, unloved, sad, depressed because you are on treadmill with no off switch and juggling everyone’s lives at the same time? Do we ever ask if you can see that that small glimmer of hope in that darkest tunnel? Do we ask if you ever feel overwhelmed at times? Do any of us realize how much work being you really is? Catering to all these different personalities with their unique challenges. Referring battles between siblings, fending off sexual advances from your partners? Honey when are we going to have sex again? Honestly, I am so fucking tired that I don’t think I washed today and after getting breakfast ready, getting the kids off to school, working 8 hours dealing with crazy people, coming home cooking dinner, doing homework, trying to teach the kids some lessons about life and tucking them in to bed. “Do you really believe that I feel like being romantic. All I want is a minute of peace and a vat of wine.” So, I can fall asleep and hopefully get enough sleep to be ready to do it all over again! We are truly sorry for not seeing you. We know every day should be mothers day.
Sorry, dad’s that is not the way to win their hearts. That is certainly not the way to romance them into having passionate love. That is called taking them for granted. So, try and understand their world for a second. Understand what their lives are like when we go off to work and come home and the family machine is cranking away. Most of the time they don’t even tell us what transpired over the course of their day because they are so busy worrying about everyone else and they want to protect our own feelings. That is the sacrifices that you mom’s make every second of the day.
It is time for us as children and spouses to step back and put ourselves in your superhuman mom shoes. Realize that you are the glue that is holding all this chaos and multipile personality disorders all together. Most children and partners think they have challenges with their life. They are selfish about their own needs and never think of what you need. They never realized what life would be like without you as this amazing Mom. Like maybe 1000X worse. They don’t take time to understand what you encounter over the course of your day, the challenges you overcome, the sacrifices you make, the band aids that you use to patch up problems that pop up every second of the day that hold the family together for hopefully another day as you fall into bed at night, mentally and physically exhausted for just wanting to have a family. They fail to understand that you rarely put any of your needs first. A mom’s first instinct is for her family, their safety, their well-being, their happiness and their future. The sacrifices are immense all because you cannot say no because you want the best for everyone except for you. You are truly the Rock Star Mom’s of our world and we need to start seeing you as the loving, empathetic, supportive and compassionate human being you are instead of the machine we see operating without a pause or breath. They all need to understand that you have a purpose to fulfill on your journey of life. You have passions that want to pursue a dream you want to fulfill. Understand that you want more than you are getting and very rarely say one word about it. We are truly sorry for not knowing how you want to be loved. We know every day should be mothers day.
So, all you children out there start being grateful that you have a Rock Star Mom. There are so many children out there that grew up with no mom or one that had big challenges which left them in no condition to be there for their children and family. These children fail because they didn’t have a mom that helped them pursue their dreams, a guide to help them out with challenges and barriers they faced along the way. The prisons, sober houses and homeless shelters are filled with children who didn’t have a chance because for one reason or another, didn’t have a mom that had their best interests at heart like your mom does.
Next time you are thinking about creating some turmoil in your
mom’s lives with breaking rules, poor behavior, telling them you hate them or
physically abusing them. Please stop and think “What reason in the world would
I have that my mom would deserve this type of pain in her life.” When all she
does is love the heck out of me and try to give me all the things in life she
didn’t have. She makes so many sacrifices for us and to treat her with anything
other love, trust, respect and honor is a failure on my part as her child. She
did not raise me like this! I have to start praising her for her unrelentless
pursuit to create a home filled with love and harmony. I need to start being grateful
that she is part of our lives and think about how many other children in this
world don’t have mom like mine.
I am going to stop taking her for granted because I will never know what tomorrow holds. Life is ever changing, and we are not guaranteed tomorrow. Do I want to live a life filled with regret if the last conversation I have with my mom is one of hatred, anger and abuse? How do you think that will make me feel tomorrow, the next day, the next year, the rest of my life? We only have one chance in this life to do the right thing and love our mom’s unconditionally.
They are doing the best they can with the resources they have and are kicking serious ass in doing it. We are imperfect human beings, we all make mistakes, we are not GOD’S. So, when we make a bad call in your eyes, we need a little flexibility and a ton of forgiveness because there is no manual for moms with all the answers. When you think your mom is wrong or being unfair. Please, STOP and remember, they are doing the best with what they have in the moment and their heart is in the right place because they want the best for your world. Aren’t we all doing the best we can?
We need to start accepting each other for the journey that each of us are on. So, maybe the next time you want to act out and say something mean to her. Think to yourself, “What if this is the last time, I am going to see my mom?” Is this how I want to remember our relationship and her? Do I want to carry around a feeling of guilt for the rest of my life? It happens every single day to people just like you and I and we don’t think twice about it. Because. “That will never happen to us”. Well it does, all the time, we chose not to see it. When it does, we never see it coming. That is what life is. Unpredictable, Unexplainable and sometimes Unforgiving. These are the some of consequence of having a chance to play this incredible game of life.
4 years ago, we lost our son and it destroyed the world that we were so accustomed to. Did we sometimes take each other for granted? Sure, we all do at some level because we all think we have a tomorrow. A chance to make things right. A second chance to tell them how much we love them. Another opportunity to apologize for our foolish behavior and saying horrible things out of anger. We live our lives based on a tomorrow and fail to appreciate the moment.
We are so grateful that we had this incredible relationship filled with love, acceptance and compassion with our son Richie & Matthew. Because if we didn’t the guilt would have most likely destroyed our existence. Our last goodbye was one of love, happiness and joy and we are truly grateful that we have this last loving memory. If we didn’t that is one wound that will never heal. It will eat away at your mind and your heart every waking day of your life. It will chase you in your dreams and be with you every moment you have a quite moment to think. I speak to parents and children that lived their life thinking about a tomorrow and live with tremendous burdens of guilt that consume their lives leaving them depressed, distraught and permanently damaged. That is the price that is paid for not finding love in each moment.
So, if you don’t think bad things happen to good people, think again! They happen every single second of the day. Therefore, why waste the precious moments of the now for an unknown future. Make that commitment to love your mom in every moment you can, show them gratitude and respect because we are guaranteed any second chances to make amends and apologize for acting out of our own ego’s need to be right. Would you rather be in love or be right?
You moms are the rock starts in our lives and need to be treated as such. You are entitled to being treated as royalty and showered with flowers and gifts of love. We promise to make sure everyday we make it Mothers Day.
So, from this day forward we will make this pledge of hope to understand your world, give you some slack, love you and accept you for the loving spiritual soul you are.
We promise to tell you we love you in every moment and to give you the hugs of love you need to make sure you know you matter, you are loved and respected and are the Rock Star Mom in our lives and this world is a better place because of what you do day in and day out.
In closing. To all you Rock Star Mom’s out there. You are
truly what makes the world go round.
So keep it real, keep it rocking, forgive yourself, love yourself more, start testing the word NO, take a break, put your feet up, leave the laundry, order take out, start doing things for you, delegate responsibilities (yes to the dad’s) they can handle it and they need more coaching than you think. We are not as strong as our egos think we are. So, help us out by giving us things to do. It helps if we think it is our idea. Soothes those male egos of ours. We are not perfect either even though all the time we think we are. We are truly sorry if we don’t see you or hear you. As your husbands and as the moms of our children we promise to do better. When we know better, we do better. Practice makes better because none of us our perfect.
Finally, moms this is your life so make the time to do the things that you put aside to raise children and make the family run. If we don’t love ourselves how can we possibly expect to love anyone else. So, start loving you, choose yourself for once and take that step #1 towards that dream you gave up on to have a family. One step at a time in pursuit of that thing that puts a smile on your face, brings joy into your heart and a purpose that nourishes your soul.
I will let you in on this last little secret. If you take the foot of the gas, we will all figure it out. We will fail, fall, make bad choices, do stupid things and step all over each other but we will learn life lessons that will help us all grow. Shoot… at the same time we may even start picking up the slack and so you can find you. Because as we all know life is too short to live with regrets and it is never to early to start chasing our dreams. So, have #HOPE and ROCK ON. THE BIGGEST REGRET WE CAN HAVE AS HUMAN BEINGS IS NOT MEETING THE PERSON WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BECOME.
All my love and support on your journey in life and hope you find the fuel you need to reengage with your purpose to satisfy your soul’s desire and live the life you always dreamed of.