The problems with Perfect Parenting

What? Prince Harry and Meghan need a parent coach! The problems with Perfect Parenting. Why would the royal couple require help from anyone? Aren’t they the picture of perfection? Don’t they already have everything they could ever want and need. Don’t they have access to the best of everything in life? Sure they have chauffeurs, maids, cooks and nanny’s. Their backyard is overgrowing with money trees and never have to work another day in their life. However, they are human and when we are human we do encounter challenges in life that sometimes do require support, counseling and advising. When we talk about raising our children and teenager’s that is where the help is really needed. Because we are all doing the best we can and there is no such thing is perfection. However, there is nothing wrong with getting support and advice to become better.

We all want to be the perfect parent and it’s just an illusion. A pedestal that we want to see ourselves standing upon. Being the perfect parent means having the perfect children. Yes…Just like everyone on facebook. With their perfect lives. Yes…another illusion that eats away at our ego. Maybe we want to be the perfect parent because of some of the failures we saw in our own parents. Maybe we want to be the perfect parent to inflate our ego and show other parents how amazing we are. Maybe being a perfect parent is what we think our children really need. Who knows? Why do you want to be a perfect parent? Or is good enough parenting…well good enough? In the end, the problems with perfect parenting is that in the end our children are the ones that pay the price.

If they had Facebook back in the Cleaver day’s this is would be one of their posts! The Picture of the perfect family!

However, we have to understand that being a perfect parent has it’s consequences. If our children see us as perfect on these pedestals of immortality. How can they ever think they can come to us with a problem or challenges because they will think of themselves as imperfect. That becomes a serious blow to their self-confidence and self-esteem. My parents are so perfect. They never make mistakes and we never see them with a problem. I work with hundreds of young adults in prisons and sober houses that had perfect parents.

Just this morning I was working with a mom who was struggling with raising her teenage children and struggling with drinking. She said her parents were perfect and that was the problem. She went on to say that she could never do anything right because they were so good. So as a teenager she turned to drinking to escape the reality of her imperfect world and felt as though she was the black sheep of the family. She went on to say. “I was struggling with my own self-worth, and was afraid to tell my parents how sad I felt. It destroyed me emotionally and could never be honest with them. They thought they were setting a good example but it wasn’t a good example, it was a perfect example and something that I could never measure up to. I didn’t see them as parents or people. I saw them as something I could never become…PERFECT and that took so much of my childhood away. This mom still struggles to this day from her childhood and when working together she is trying to come to grips that her parenting is good enough because she has a connection with her children because they see her as a person that has to overcome challenges in life. That is what is life is all about. Overcoming the challenges that come up in every day life. Life is not perfect so why are we all trying so hard to be perfect in a world that is not?

When we become humans to our children they see us in a different light. They see us make mistakes, falter and fall. Then get back up and try it again and learn from those mistakes. When they see us as humans who are imperfect they become more open to sharing their challenges with us. They become connected with us on a human level which provides us an opportunity to help them build up their confidence and self-esteem.We can’t or should ever want to be perfect. The only thing we can hope for is being better.

Click the link below to read the article on how the royal’s with all of the stages of perfection they are required to be on and be perfect are turning to parent coaches to help them get connected with their human side so they can be more connected with their children in a world where everyone is striving for perfect.
Click here to read the article about what Prince Harry and his wife are doing to parent better

If you need some support with the problems with Perfect Parenting or If you are interested in chatting to see how a parent counselor or coach could help you become better in all aspects of your life. If you are stuck, help you get unstuck. If you are overwhelmed find a path forward. If you are stressed find some peace. If you have tried everything and nothing has worked then you really haven’t tried everything. If you are interested in taking step #1, Please click the link below and setup a call with me and start moving in a direction where you can discover even more happiness and fulfillment in life, find who you really are and become the connected parent your child needs in their world.

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All my love and support

Coach Richie

For more videos, what parents are saying and tips on parenting teenagers please visit my website.

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