Dear Mom and Dad,
I speak to parents all day long and one of their most common questions is with them asking for Help with my teenager. All we want is our children to be happy and successful and if life were that simple..well it wouldn’t be called life. When our children loose connection with us our worst fears surface. Please know that you are not alone. Life is hard and raising teenagers is so much harder. It is ok to get support, advice and counseling to help you with raising a teenager that may be out of control, withdrawn, rebellious or depressed.
As human beings we all have struggles in life. As Parents our struggles are even greater. As our children approach the teenage years their world is always changing. Therefore, as parents we have to meet them where they are. and become the parent we need to be for them in that moment. Not the one we fantasized about becoming. Sometimes, the hardest thing in the world is to accept our children as they are. However, that is the only way forward. The Help with my Teenager is a common statement by most parents behind closed doors. Most parents would not tell their friend please “Help with my teenager” because of the judgement they feel would follow.
Far too many parents struggle on their own and resort to drastic measures such as doctors and psychiatrists that jump the gun and make a quick diagnosis and prescribe medications. We are in crisis and we want our teenagers fixed now. We are fearful for their safety and their future. When we are struggling with these emotions of overwhelm we make decisions that are our teenagers can’t understand and resist.
When we resort to control, withholding love, discipline and punishment it makes the situation so much worse for them and us as parents. “How can my parents do this to me if they love me”. Then the behavior becomes worse and they use it to take control of us. Studies show that discipline and punishment never work. If you are using this has it worked for you?
When our teenagers are going through their changes poor behavior, acting out and rebellion are signs of them missing something from their world. It takes time to discover what that is. There is no quick fix or magic bullet to help them modify their behavior. This behavior has manifested over years and it takes time and patience to reconnect with them. That is one thing that we don’t think we have a lot of.
What they need the most is to be part of our parenting sphere of influence, because we are the only ones in the world that can guide, support and mentor them into becoming the person they are meant to be.
We achieve this result by becoming a connected parent in which they will allow us to help them see the world, learn life lessons and support them to follow their dreams. What do you want for your Child? What did you dream your life would look like?
In this selfie world we live in I see parents so often that are too embarrassed to ask for help. For fear of being judged and being viewed as a bad parent. That is our ego that is doing the parenting when we feel this way and it is an obstacle that we need to overcome to become connected back to our children. We can overcome our ego, the expectations we have for our children, the expectations we have for our own lives but it takes work.
If you are looking to do something different and journey into the unknown. Looking to have someone to tell you what you don’t want to hear, who has you see what you don’t want to see, ask you the questions you were afraid to ask? So you can become the person and connected parent that your child needs, please reach out and we can chat. Because not being resourceful and making yourself uncomfortable is not a plan to overcome the challenges that present themselves each and every day.
In my work in prisons and sober homes I see young adults all day long that struggle with their past.A majority of them had parents that they weren’t connected to. Which left them with no confidence, feeling unloved, low self-esteem and feeling worthless to society. However, it is never to late to make a change. It all depends on how much work you are willing to do. If you are not someone that is open to being vulnerable and want to do the work then this is not a solution for you.
Are you are willing to work, up to making changes, open to admitting mistakes, facing your fears? Do you want a better life for yourself and a brighter future for your teenager? The first step is to stop sitting around doing the same thing over and over that is not working and take a step forward.
Most of us get caught up and stuck in life because they look too far down the road and get overwhelmed. What we need to focus on is step #1. Your step #1 to a new world for yourself and your children is right below by clicking on the link to schedule a free 30 minute chat. It is only 30 minutes of your life. How much time have you wasted doing things that don’t work?
Click Here to get on my calendar and schedule a chat with me. If I can help you and it makes sense we can begin our work together in that moment. Maybe together we can get that question answered “Help with my Teenager” and start creating a world where everyone in the family is happy.
All my love and support on your journey in life.
“Learn how to talk to a rebellious, out of control and defiant teenager without all the swearing, arguing, yelling, door slamming and drama”
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