Where do we turn when life’s challenges don’t meet our expectations. Most of our struggles in life are correlated to an expectation we had for the path in life and the person that we thought we were supposed to become. Our trauma changes us, especially if was active or passive childhood trauma. What also changes us, is this belief we are supposed become this certain person based on someone’s else’s agenda. This results in us getting stuck in never ending loops of uncertainty, self doubt, emotional dysregulation and stress that has us wondering about not only who we are but what we are doing here.

Most individuals seek therapy to help them develop coping skills for things like anxiety and depression or to have a weekly place to go to talk about challenges. However, my questions as a therapist is, why are we treating symptoms instead of the underlying causes that have us not feeling good about ourselves and our path in life. If all we have are band-aids (medications, positive and negative coping skills) than how can we ever heal? What individuals need is a guide on their journey of healing to discover who they are, what they want and develop a plan to get it!

I have four core beliefs when when it comes to therapy.

• Number 1 therapy has a start and end time, we have a treatment plan and goals. When we achieve our goals and therapy is over. Therapy should not be a year after year journey.

• Number 2 the goal is getting to the root of the trauma or negative life situation that is manifesting all the unwanted symptoms.

• Number 3 A therapist should not tell you want you want to hear because you have friends for that.

• Number 4 A great therapist (life guide) will help you see what you can’t and work with you on developing a plan to overcome whatever obstacles are in your way. A great therapist will provide you with a feeling of safety, love, nurturing and validation while pointing on what they see in the most loving and nurturing way possible. When this happens, that is when growth starts because avoiding or being in denial of what is happening is one of the biggest reasons we become stuck in life.

If you are looking for a guide on your journey of healing, click the link below. The most important thing in finding the right therapist is finding the one that you have a connection with. If you don’t feel the connection you will not feel safe to be vulnerable enough to do the work that you need to do to move forward in life and if you had a therapist in the past you know what I am talking about!